i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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