nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
