sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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