my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
