she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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