yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
