I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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