Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
