How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
