things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
