Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
