Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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