I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
