she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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