what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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