yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
