I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
