Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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