last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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