is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
