Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
