I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
