listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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