Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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