Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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