Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
