i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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