i barfeds in our rink
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
