Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
