She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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