he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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