he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
