saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
