my phone needs a breathalizer
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
