Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
