She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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