It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
