Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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