FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
