this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
