For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
