Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
