fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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