just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
