So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
