I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
