I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
