i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
