so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
