and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
