There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
